When you’re a single mom out in the dating world, it’s easy to start feeling like you’re damaged goods. Sometimes you even are for a while. It takes time to adjust to being on your own with a child when you’ve always had at least a little support from your ex. It won’t take forever though and sooner or later, you’ll be ready to fix yourself up and start dating. Here are a few things that have helped me feel whole again, and I hope they help you with your repair work as well.
Number one: Spend some time with your supportive family. When you’ve just had a bad break up, no one can support you better than the people who you know can’t leave you. Your family. Pick the members of your clan that won’t lecture you, but will actually give you permission to be YOU again. Often times when things have been hard for so long, we lose touch with who we really are. Family is a great way to get grounded.
Number two: Try meditation. Yeah, family is great, but sometimes you need to get away and have a good think before you start dating. If you can, find a meditation class and ask a friend or a family member to watch your kid for an hour or two. Sitting in a group and being quietly with yourself is a very restorative act. Sometimes it can be hard at first, but give it a few tries and you’ll start reaping the rewards.
Number three: Write it out. It’s a proven fact that people who suffer from post traumatic stress disorder, recover faster when they are given journals to write their thoughts down in. Putting your worries and thoughts to the page is a naturally therapeutic way to let go of pain and resentment. Try writing on a blog, you can set it to private if you want, what comes out might surprise you.
Number four: Exercise. Yeah, I know, everyone says this one, but it’s for a reason. Exercise is a natural way to become less depressed and more confident. We are mammals, we were meant to move. As an added bonus, most gyms now a days have child care. Go fitness!
Number five: Spend some times with the kids. Before you get out into the dating world, it’s really important that your munchkins feel secure. If you have a good relationship with your children, then they won’t resent the time you spend with other people. Always remember, dates come and go, family is forever.
Finally, forgive yourself. You are not a psychic, you can not predicted how things turn out in life. Yeah, you got thrown a curve ball, but like Vince Lombardi said “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up”.
Fight the good fight! Get out there and try online dating. We can do it!