I’ve been told so many times, “Jacky, no man is an island,” after my divorce. My friends and family thought I was taking on too much to handle. Well, this is what I say to them, “No man may be an island, but a woman can be.” Thus is our lot in life as a woman. Men would be lost if they were to trade places with us and handle all the responsibilities we have, especially as a single parent. Men often get the soft end of the sword after a divorce which involves children. I mean, I love my girl and am glad she is staying with me but it naturally makes everything that much more difficult.
I work full time, take care of her and try and still have a personals life. Something always has to give, which is why my family and friends tell me no man is an island. However, when you’ve been forced to abandon ship you either become an island or drown. So move over Gilligan because I’ve just taken over.
I’m sure this all seems overwhelming to you newly divorced singles for singles. I get it, I’ve been there wondering how I’ll make it through. But you do. Once you have a plan and routine things become much less bleak. I didn’t even realize I was stuck in a loveless marriage until I was knee deep in it with a kid. However, I’m much more happy now being apart – much more busy too, of course.
So, here is somethings that helped me out after the initial divorce.
- Don’t feel bad around your friends dating –> it’s awkward going to functions alone again when all your friends are with their significant other but learn to be comfortable with it. It’s not so bad.
- Take time for yourself –> don’t jump into any new relationship. It’s not fair to your feelings or your child’s
- Take time for your child –> if you have a child make sure you spend as much time with them to make sure they adjust as well as possible
- Use personals help –> seek out help. You may be an island but even islands utilize the sand, trees, and water. Try your family, friends, or social agencies.
Everything I say is, naturally, just a suggestion. They are things that helped me and still continue to after my ex husband and I split up. From there you can decide how you want your life to run. Make goals, go after them and work from there. You don’t have to have your whole life planned out to the T but start with tomorrow.